Why Are Destructive Relationships Like Crack?

Question by LikesOrangeJuice: Why are destructive relationships like crack?
Many moons ago I met a wonderful woman, we were wonderful together. Had a great time, and good God the passion was hot. So hot I was blinded by the fact that there are other commonalities in life that need addressing before making such a commitment for life, in that I asked her to marry me. My f*ck up, she said an astounding YES and I broke it off several months after, destroying her life and the seriousness it entailed… We remained in limbo through all this trying to work it out, almost a year. Finally I had had enough of being the bad guy and eating as much crow as I thought was fair (All the while desperately trying to form an open form of communication which led to yelling, yelling over each other pleading our respective cases and then finally the passion, the drug which kept us hooked) I went my separate way for a few months, as did she, and we both found temporary lovers. Through that time we both realized that we were still hooked and dependent on each other vice our flings, and another chance was given. We tried and tried to mend our ways for about six months, my fling had gone the wayside whilst hers was still very much in the picture, not realizing he was a placeholder at best, but ended up stalking her at worst. (Along with ALL of her ex’s trying to weasel in). The distance (I had moved again) did not help either and added a level of insecurity on both of our behalves which, again, would curtail into a beautifully illustrated use of most four letter words dear Webster has bestowed upon English, and a few from urban dictionary. Finally, she ended it(ME-2, HER-1 )The proposal to live with each other was to much without revisiting marriage. The marriage was to much for me to revisit unless we lived together (May I remind that I had moved, again)… How do you rid your body of this drug, other drugs I’ve met dont kick as well in the bedroom, and I refuse to be an addict without us seeing eye to eye and total honesty, even if it hurts. There in lies the rub. How the F*CK do you talk to WOMEN to make them stop being irrational on topics that clearly require straightforward consensus. Hey, I’m no fool, I know that I am HALF the problem, but I’m looking for the proverbial methadone to help me see straight. What’cha got???

Best answer:

Answer by J W
i dont have time to read this.. but i just want to give you a big hug. life is hard.. im sorry for what youre going through.

Answer by Jody
Have you considered that her wants and needs matter just as much as yours? That her opinions and “irrationality” are just as important as yours and she has just as much right and need to have them expressed and understood as you do.

That to communicate you have to shut your mouth while she’s talking. That’s why we have two ears and one mouth. Listening is twice as important.

You have all the answers and don’t even know what the question is because you cut her off in the middle of her asking.

She probably is your “methadone” but you insist on refusing her input.

Would you rather be right or happy?

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